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The personal testimony of Sierra White

From: http://exposedheart.wordpress.com

In 1986 I was born to a woman who didn’t want me. I lived with her until my younger brother Josh was born a year later. Once Josh was born we were placed into Foster Care. Our birth mother had alcohol, drug and sex addictions. For the next few years I lived with numerous families and in many unhealthy environments. Sexual, verbal and sometimes physical abuse were part of my life until I was adopted into a great, Christian family at age 6. Jere and Julie White adopted my brother and I and had previously adopted 2 older boys who were cousins. My mom told me that the months previous to my adoption, (when we lived with them as foster kids) every night I would pray and ask God to please let them adopt us. When I was adopted I was shown lots of love that was unfamiliar to me. I reacted positively to it and thought that my life would be a fairy tale from that day on. When I was 6 I asked Jesus to be my Savior. The first time I ever sang in front of people was at a Christmas program at age 6. My mom had me sing Silent Night and I learned all the verses by memory. Afterwards my mom a got a prophetic word that God would use me as a  Singer for His glory. When I was 8 I was  sexually abused  for 4 years.  I became more introverted and found my friends in books and movies. I was rejected by my peers in School and became the object of teasing, laughter, etc. I was treated to meanly that in a sense I became almost immune to the harsh words I would hear. Because of everything in my past I was a hurt, rejected, and abused, angry mess. I began to take my anger out on my mom and do poorly in school. However, I excelled in putting on a mask and being the “perfect little Christian girl”. I was the “Go-to” person for anything musical, if anything needed done people came to me to get it done. I began to find my identity in serving and doing things rather than finding myself in Christ. I truly loved God and wanted to serve Him but was so hurt and angry I never really let Him take control.  I began to immerse myself in ministry without working through all the hurt from my past. As I got older my mom began to notice this and asked me to go to therapy, which I did. It helped and God began to tear at my heartstrings and show me the depths of His love. I rededicated my heart to Jesus when I was 15 and began to go hardcore after His heart. I began to lead worship and began tinkering around on my keyboard. It wasn’t until 2005 when I was in Fire in the Night when the Lord did a great work in my heart in helping me overcome the pain. I was in Track 1 when we did the Deep/Inner Healing course for 3 days and it was intense. I began to ask God to work in me and change me and do what He needed to do. I got hit hardcore by God and left a changed person. A week later I was in the Prayer Room and was supposed to sing that night but for some reason I asked for a friend to sub for me. I was sitting in the back on the floor praying when someone was on the mic and said “You cannot love others or truly love God until You love Yourself.” As I heard that I began to weep and weep for 3 hours. God began to tear another layer of hurt and rejection off of me. My life has held a lot of pain, hurt, and rejection but God has been so faithful to me.  I am one of the few children to be adopted into Christian families and am so grateful for the Hand of God on me.  My desire is to serve God with complete abandonment, to sing for Him and Him only, to minister through song and the prophetic to see Jesus glorified!